my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
