i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
