Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
