he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
