I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
