turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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