sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
