Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
