He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The air was thick with penises
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize