I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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