you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
