I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
