you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
