I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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