I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize