We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is Oprah even human
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
