Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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