i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
