Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
