Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
