Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
