I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
