so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
don't judge my taste in strippers
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
