It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize