that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
