Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
