I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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