Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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