we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
