somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
