Sponge bath it is.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
