i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
