1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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