you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
