this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
