ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize