i was rollin on her like bob the builder
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
