is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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