I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
