I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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