Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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