she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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