Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
