he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize