WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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