Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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