Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
