My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
