Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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