Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize