I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
