I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
