Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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