I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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