so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
