Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
