Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
