i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize