Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
