I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Acid is not a monday night drug
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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