You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
