I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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