Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
