He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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