That's when you crack a 10am beer
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
