some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
