i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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