You can't motorboat a personality
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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