Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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