you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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