Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize