I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
