even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize