Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
