I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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