You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
