dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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