so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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