i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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