We're facebook friends in real life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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