Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
