I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How does one acquire holy water?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
