She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
